It is rumoured that Prime Minister Gordon Brown is set to elevate the comedian Sacha Baron Cohen to the Lords and appoint him as his new ‘Comedy Tsar’. Mr. Brown has been aware for some time that the current Cabinet is looking rather glum. And he himself has been told on many occasions that whenever he tries to smile people are terrified that he is going to retch.
One advantage of the appointment, it is thought, is the title that Cohen will take upon elevation. Instead of becoming a real Baron, he will instead juggle his names and become Baron Sacha Cohen. This also sounds a lot better than the other idea that had originally been offered, which was for him to become Baron Sacha Baron Cohen… which sounds stupid.
Brown hopes that with the addition of Baron Cohen, the Cabinet will get a three in one comedy act – Ali G, Borat and Bruno – effectively, three comedy Tsars for the price of one. Cohen is still negotiating the complete title, although Brown is thought to have ruled out Baron Cohen of Kazakstan on the grounds of political correctness. Another idea being put about is Baron Bruno of Haberdashers Askes (Cohen’s old school), although Cohen is thought to have stated that the Haberdashers are so last season.
The Prime Minister has, quite naturally, had to deny that the whole ‘Elevation of Bruno' affair is just another one of Baron Cohen’s classic ‘sting’ operations. The comedian who is considered to have burnt all his bridges over recent years is suspected of wanting to take one last pop… and this time at the man at the top.
But the PM stated this afternoon in a mild Kazak accent: “Yes, but it’s very nice. It is a… nice… My friend, my friend, Borat did not approach me on this occasion. I approach him. It is clear that my comedian friend is shit out of characters to play and of people to wind up… and the government of Gordon Brown is shit out of merriment and laughter and gaiety. So it makes perfect sense for Mr. Baron Baron Cohen to inject a little bit of humour into government, whilst also undertaking a role – the Comedy Tsar – which will allow people to start taking him seriously…
"...For the first time in his life...”