Women have been given the green light to catfight. In a landmark ruling the international Olympic committee has given the go-ahead for women to be unpleasant to one another for the first time since a demonstration event at the St Louis games in 1904.

Women journalists in particular are breathing a sigh of relief at the ruling. It had been feared that the convention of 'sisterhood' might mean that women could only beat the shit out of men in future. But after a last minute intervention by the journalist Carole Malone, it was agreed that women could be nasty, spiteful and vicious to other women and also hit them with whatever implements might be at hand.

"Let's face it," said Alison Pearsson tonight. "The pen is mightier than the sword, but the stiletto is mightier still. And if you use all three you can really hurt your opponent without even worrying about whether you have to 'hit below the belt."

Julie Birch-all also had something to say: "Frankly, women are just men dressed as women, and I think that they deserve all they get. Personally I use neither pen nor sword but have perfected the art of the withering look... which some might say is somewhat dirty."

And Westminster babes joined the fray tonight as well. Harriet Harman the Minister for Women-have-the-right-to-kill-women claimed that this was a "small blow for womankind, a giant knock-out for women." The Minister for Babes went on, "I never thought I'd see the day where society had progressed to the point where everyone - men, women and children - have the right to be as nasty as they want to be to their fellow man, woman and child... This truly is equality in the making."