Politicians of all parties are becoming rather excited about a research paper published by a team from Hong Kong University and Fudan University in Shanghai that suggests that 'invisible gateways' like the one in Harry Potter, are becoming a step closer to reality. With the help of a technique known as transformation optics, the research team has found a way to alter the pathway of light waves that could eventually allow them to develop portals that are invisible to the human eye.

Published in the New Journal of Physics this month, the article offers new hope that touchy political subjects such as government debt, MPs expenses, 'mission creep' and state surveillance could yet be hidden from the public gaze. Since the time when the government of Gordon Brown was caught massaging public debt figures by employing 'off-balance sheet' accounting, and since the time when excessive expense claims put in by MPs were uncovered thanks to the Freedom of Information act, the Westminster Pillage has been seeking new ways to hide its racketeering and extortion.

Gordon Brown said today, "New Labour always has been and always will be very excited about the way in which physics can benefit politics, and in particular government, of course. We realised early on that the modern computer would be useful to us in the monitoring and guidance of our citizens. But as spin and illusion move into the Twenty First Century and as science increasingly becomes a tool of public relations - look at swine flu, for example - we firmly believe that these worthy physicists can have a role to play in giving people, let's say, a better vision, a more positive vision... the kind of vision that will allow them to see the light... or, of course, to see the lack of light... whichever the case may be."

"As Albert Einstein himself noted, E=MC Squared... Or to put it another way, 'Electioneering equals Manipulation times Chicanery to the power of two (the two being me and the Dark Lord, Peter Voldemort, of course.)"