It has shockingly been revealed today that an Australian gentleman who normally pays famous people lots of money, has paid someone else lots of money for information about those selfsame famous people.

What normally happens is that the Australian gentleman pays celebs and other public figures lots and lots of money for information about themselves, or, more often than not, for sensitive personal information about others - be they former lovers or one night stands. In the 'trade' this is known as 'kiss and tell'.

What appears, quite outrageously, to have happened in this case is that he paid a 'middleman' to tap into the mobile phones of those celebs and public figures and obtained all sorts of personal detail without paying them. A 'giant' of reality television who asked to remain nameless said, "It's flippin' disgusting. I could have made hundreds of thousands of pounds selling my night one stand with the footballer, **name deleted** to the press. But they come along and trespass on my privacy and get it for free.

A famous 'cabinet' minister said, "I find it reprehensible that this Australian gentleman revealed details about my expenses claim for a 17th Century 'goose lodge' when I fully intended to release the information by a series of 'informal leaks'.

An anonymous member of the Royal Family said, "Doesn't this Australian gentleman know? There is a protocol for releasing sensitive information into the public domain. And to the best of my knowledge, mobile phones taps isn't one of them! What is the point of paying hundreds of thousands of pounds to PRs to 'massage the news' if some fellow can just come along and take the data with impunity. Anyone would think that this Australian gentleman does not like the Monarchy!"

Another 'member' of the government said, "Who does he think he is anyway, tapping into people's phones like that? The bloody Home Office? Doesn't he realise that snooping on people's private data is our job?"

A high profile Public Relations expert who was himself bugged by the Australian gentleman summed up the mood of everybody involved in the case:-
"If Mandy Nipples can't get an honest 100K by baring all about her saucy night with Gary Bonewood, then what's the world coming to?"