Researchers at Newcastle University claim to have made a remarkable breakthrough in stem cell technology. For the first time they have been able to produce a fully operational scientist from a human embryonic stem cell.

This is a critical development at a time when the Government is seeking to cut funding in a range of academic disciplines. One of the researchers involved said, "At a stroke, the Government would be able to slash the funding of science in schools and Universities, as it would be possible to create complete and fully functioning scientists from single stem cells.

Apparently there is yet further excitement over the fact that it might be possible to determine the discipline and the quality of the research that the scientists will undertake in later life, thus making it conceivable to award these scientists the Nobel Prize before they're are even born.

With a large grin on his face, one specialist in physiology and reproduction commented, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for man-glue."