The BBC weather forecaster Michael Fish has written a letter to the Queen apologising for the fact that he predicted a long hot 'barbecue summer' when nothing of the sort actually occured. In the letter entitled, "Phew, your Majesty, not a scorcher." Mr. Fish begs the Queen not to "remove my head from my shoulders as it was not my head that was the guilty party."

Mr Fish explains that the Met office has for some time been using the same kind of computer simulations and statistical modelling techniques that brought about the credit crunch. "We all hoped that if this kind of voodoo could bring about untold wealth for a bunch of city traders, maybe our fortunes as weather forecaster could similarly go sky high. Sadly however, the modelling techniques proved to be ever so slightly flawed."

He went on, "Having said all that, Ma'am, the seasonal forecast from the Met Office is worth more than a horoscope. A lot of blame has to lie with the media who misinterpret the forecasts."

He concluded by stating: "If newspapers didn't take us so seriously in the first place and Home Counties barbecue buff's did not hang on our every word then we would not be in this mess anyway. The British people should stop talking about the weather so much and simply get a life... although that last comment would most definitely not apply to yourself... your most glorious and, if I may say, most serene Majesty."