The author of the 'Naked Girl's guide to Feminism' has been defending her work from claims that it is vacuous 'chick-lit' after it was derided this week by the journalist Libby Brooks. In the book the author claims that Barbie is a feminist icon, and that you shouldn't judge something to be crap just because it's mass produced and heavily marketed to impressionable young girls.

The author who goes by the name of 'Ellie' and who is a regular writer on the Guardian newspaper, said "My feminism is about realism, looking at the issues and choices that face us every day – what to wear, whether to put on make-up, who cooks dinner, whether the route home is safe, whether to apply for promotion at work, and so on."

When she was asked whether little girls really had much choice about asking for a Barbie, in view of the fact that they would feel left out by their friends if Mummy and Daddy didn't buy them one, Ellie replied resolutely, "It is evident that the Barbie doll is an exquisitely made item, similar in its own way to a Dior handbag or a pair of Jimmy Choos. It has been extremely effective in showing what a young lady should aspire to in life. It is obvious that unless a young girl learns early on that you can 'have it all' and you can shop till you drop, she will never make any effort to get to the top of the ladder and be respected as an elegant and effortlessly superior rich bitch."

"Failing that she can just marry a rich man, of course."

The BBC weather forecaster Michael Fish has written a letter to the Queen apologising for the fact that he predicted a long hot 'barbecue summer' when nothing of the sort actually occured. In the letter entitled, "Phew, your Majesty, not a scorcher." Mr. Fish begs the Queen not to "remove my head from my shoulders as it was not my head that was the guilty party."

Mr Fish explains that the Met office has for some time been using the same kind of computer simulations and statistical modelling techniques that brought about the credit crunch. "We all hoped that if this kind of voodoo could bring about untold wealth for a bunch of city traders, maybe our fortunes as weather forecaster could similarly go sky high. Sadly however, the modelling techniques proved to be ever so slightly flawed."

He went on, "Having said all that, Ma'am, the seasonal forecast from the Met Office is worth more than a horoscope. A lot of blame has to lie with the media who misinterpret the forecasts."

He concluded by stating: "If newspapers didn't take us so seriously in the first place and Home Counties barbecue buff's did not hang on our every word then we would not be in this mess anyway. The British people should stop talking about the weather so much and simply get a life... although that last comment would most definitely not apply to yourself... your most glorious and, if I may say, most serene Majesty."