That other 'Deputy Leader' of the Labour party, Harriet Harman, has this week waded in to the pressing and momentous debate surrounding the replacement of one of the judges of a ballroom dancing competition.

The Secretary of State for Gravitas and Consequence used parliamentary time on Thursday to say: "I think it's absolutely shocking that Arlene Philips is not going to be a judge on Strictly Come Dancing. And as equality minister, I am suspicious that there is age discrimination going on there."

Ex-Minister Hazel Blears responded: "Ooh, yes! Never a truer word has been spoken but can I also just add a little fret of my own, pet? It's about Corrie. Will the house agree with me that the writers of Corrie should find longer storylines for Eileen? She is a much loved and under-used character and its a disgrace that she doesn't have bigger ambitions such as wanting to go in to parliament. You can tell that it was men that wrote the script!!"

The Work and Pensions secretary, Yvette Cooper then stood up and cried, "How right you are, dear. But its actually Emmerdale that's working me into a tizzy. Is it right that the blond bombshell, Charity Tate is coming back to the Dales after she had an affair with Zoe's sister? Doesn't the house have something to say about all of this?"

At this point the house descended into a chaos as the women started nattering about the latest injustices against women on soap and daytime TV. The speaker John Bercow jumped up and shouted, "Order! Order!"

Outraged, the ex-Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith jumped up and shouted, "Typical! Bloody Men. That's all they want to do. They just want to shut us women up!"

Caroline Flint then leapt to her feet and addressed the speaker, "You're just as bad as Gordon, you are. You just think we're bloody window dressing, don't you. Bloody men!"

All of a sudden a man looking suspiciously like Benny Hill was seen running excitedly out of the chamber. He was followed by Gordon Brown, David Cameron and all the other horrible male MPs who trotted hysterically with their trousers down around their ankles. They were hotly pursued by Harriet, Hazel, Jacqui and all the other angry looking women of the house who were waving handbags and frying pans. They were all last seen running frantically down Whitehall in a long maniacal line that included lots of policemen with their trousers round their ankles as well.

The former Works and Pensions secretary, James Purnell, interviewed in today's Guardian, comments on the wisdom of Labour's educational policies. In particular he turns the spotlight on faith schools. He says, "We've been allergic about having any kind of debate about the fact that we are making lots of parents have to pretend to be religious at school."

However this issue gives us an insight into what has always been a far profounder problem with the New Labour 'brand': When is a thought crime not a thought crime? When it's a New Labour policy.

It appears that by making people 'sign up' to the New Labour 'article of faith' the government truly thought that it could create a new generation of middle class Christians - or at the very least it might create a new generation of middle class parents and middle class children who possessed something approximating a Christian conscience. In fact by forcing the middle classes to jump through hoops in order to get their children a decent education, all that New Labour created was a nation of tired, jaded, politician-hating cynics.

So... if none of the parents of any of the children at any of the faith schools in any part of the land actually DO God, there is one question that still remains?

Who does?