The Metropolitan Police has just announced that despite a fall in overall crime and some of the most serious violent offences, burglaries have risen.

The figures make shocking reading. Millions of households throughout the land have apparently been fleeced over the past year and it is alleged that the average loss per household is around three thousand pounds. A respected analyst warned there could be a bill of £50,000 for every UK household by 2014.

A Mr Darling and a Mr Brown are currently thought to be helping police with their enquiries. They are believed to be the 'fence' for a multi billion pound 'grab' that has brought households in the UK to their knees. There is no sign that the 'appropriation' is being brought under control, as one 'firm' recently announced that it had just distributed the proceeds of its $6.5 Billion plunder in the form of 'bonuses'.