The Prime Minister today claimed that he was 'intensely relaxed about Lord Mandelson being filthy.' It is claimed that his Lordship, who was 'elevated to the upper chamber' last year has developed an unhealthy obsession with yachts, watches, property, yachts and other grubby 'possessions' such as power.

But in an interview today the PM said of Lord Mandelson - who is also viewed as a future EU President - "Everyone needs a mandrel." When asked to elaborate on this, Mr. Brown said, "A mandrel, a tradesman's mandrel. Some people need a 'Willie', like Margaret Thatcher did. But I believe that everyone needs a mandrel... And one thing we know: Clearly better in than out." The reporter took this to refer to Lord Mandelson being inside the Cabinet, but the point was not actually clarified.

Tonight however it was revealed that the word 'yacht' is often used as a euphemism for
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