'Friends' of the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown have let it be known that he is very, very angry about spoofs appearing in certain satirical publications that suggest that he is a bit like Joseph Stalin.

"These satirists are missing the point," the 'friends' said. "The Prime Minister's agenda is far closer to Deng Xiaoping than Joe Stalin. Gordon wants people to be reminded that he is, of course, a moderniser."

Police have cleared up the confusion over whether they forgot or they remembered to tell members of the government that they were being bugged by investigators working for the News of the World.

It initially appeared that they had forgotten to mention the bugging incidents to John Prescott and others in the government. But now it appears that what actually happened was they forgot to mention what it was that they remembered to tell members of the government, even though they did actually remember to mention it.

Said a leading policeman, "We put our best men on the case and pursued every possible line of enquiry. However these cases are complicated. In our job, there is a requirement both to report what we have uncovered and then to remember to report that we have actually reported it. As everybody knows, there will clearly sometimes be things that we report that we have reported. Then there are things that we report that we have not reported. And finally there are also things that we do not report that we have not reported."

"This issue of forgetting to tell ministers about the bugging incidents was exactly that. I hope this clears matters up."