Reports are just coming in that a hack has hacked herself. It appears that the 'hack' who asked to remain nameless, wanted to get the 'inside track' on herself and hired a private detective to investigate her. Off the record the hack said, "I realise that I was foolish. I wanted to know 'who I was'. I now accept that I should have talked to a therapist."

In a separate development, the Guardian newspaper has admitted that it is guilty of 'brain-tapping'. The newspaper recently generated excessive coverage of the death of a famous pop star. It is alleged that it did this specifically in order to tap into the brains of a mawkish readership...