It is alleged that the PM's wife, Sarah Brown has had an audience with the Pope. Nobody knows why she would do such a thing, but some say that an 'audience with the Pope' confers some form of moral or spiritual street-cred nowadays.
Elsewhere, the PM's wife has revealed that she won't eat veal. No one knows quite why she would do such a thing, but she has been overheard saying that she prefers her meat 'Brown', like her men.

So which public figure will be the first to bite the hand that has fed them so well for so long?

"Hello caller, please press one for members of the royal family, two for Members of Parliament, three for footballers, and four for stars of reality TV..."

Reports are just coming in that a hack has hacked herself. It appears that the 'hack' who asked to remain nameless, wanted to get the 'inside track' on herself and hired a private detective to investigate her. Off the record the hack said, "I realise that I was foolish. I wanted to know 'who I was'. I now accept that I should have talked to a therapist."

In a separate development, the Guardian newspaper has admitted that it is guilty of 'brain-tapping'. The newspaper recently generated excessive coverage of the death of a famous pop star. It is alleged that it did this specifically in order to tap into the brains of a mawkish readership...

...Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive...

Why are we all getting worked up about the News of the World? Because the politicians want a piece of Murdoch. The old fellow is getting on a bit, and will soon be handing more of his empire on to the next generation. So... what better time could there be for politicians to start asserting their authority... a period of transition. Grab the kids before its too late and let's make them our family.

One question for those shrinks out there: does Rupert know what a Freudian slip is?

Does anybody?

And does anybody understand why we put so much faith in technology?

If it were my phone, I'd be just a little peeved that it was that easily hacked into...