Rumours are circulating around Westminster tonight that New Labour has brought in the image consultants and is going to create a new brand before the next election.

A Labour insider said: "New Labour has been around as an identity for fifteen years now and people are thinking that it's time to modernise again. The obvious choice would ordinarily be New New Labour, but people are clearly growing tired of novelty."

The insider went on: "The high command are apparently toying with: British Bonuses for British People (The Environment Notwithstanding) Party. However, it is hoped that Labour's PR agency will come up with something snappier."

Watch this space.