The WHO (World Hell Organisation) has raised its threat level on the imminent arrival of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to Threat Level 6.

A spokesman said: "Even though there are only four horsemen, we deemed it appropriate to apply a level 6. The symptoms of the horsemen at this time are relatively mild and we do not wish to panic the public."

The World Health Organisation has just announced the shocking news that people, young and old, are now 'getting flu'.

A doctor said, "The worrying thing about this virus is that it is being passed on from person to person and is causing mild flu like symptoms in those infected."

"If it carries on at this rate people will have to take to their beds, have days off work (or 'duvet days') and need large doses of Lemsip."

A Government spokesman said: "The Government has large stockpiles of Lemsip."

If 'Doris Karloff' does indeed become speaker of the lower chamber, would it be appropriate to rename it the Chamber of Horrors?

Now that all is quiet on the Western front, Gordon Brown is lucky that he does not have to handle tough questions on the worsening situation in a foreign land.

One wonders whether there is currently anything like a 'foreign policy' under Brown - or at least one that he would like to share with his beloved electorate

When our eyes are focused on such weighty matters as MPs expenses and electoral reform, it is easy to forget that things are still happening on the other side of the world.

It is touching to see Gordon Brown handing power over to parliament in his discrete and subtle way.

But whose power is he handing over?

His power?

No, David Cameron's power of course